...rats and children follow me home...

Bom...
Uma excelente definição para minha tarde? Diria, como meu primo, esplendorosa!
Pra começar, folga é algo que deveria fazer mais parte da minha vida...
Acordei, fiquei de bobeira até duas horas antes das refeições mais absolutamente querida pelas pessoas que trabalham no centro e disputam um espaço para executar este... enfim, tive um homelife , na qual estava meio incomum para moi... Descobri uma versão de uma musica que eu amo vestida no cara que eu vou sempre tentar ser igual, nosso amigo Mayer...
Demorei pra decidir a roupa ideal, escolhi a camisa que eu mais amo, combinado com a calça que mais me abraça, como se fosse um cobertor quente numa noite fria... peguei um ônibus que nunca pego... fui ao socorro bem próximo nas horas de indecisão para lugar... Norte Shopping (por uns definidos como Pobre Shopping, portões do inferno, centro de capitalismo selvagem, etc.), fiquei admirando um pouco a fonte, tive uma tarde sensacional no cinema... a excelente pedida é uma excelente companhia e uns chocolates Hershey’s ao leite ;)
Conversar sobre nada sempre foi meu forte, a novidade é que descobri alguém que preciso desvendar a cada segundo o que pensa, pois é tão misteriosa quanto eu para qualquer conversa... mesmo conhecendo a algum tempo, mesmo não tendo nada ensaiado, mesmo estando deslumbrado e atrapalhado, mesmo ela querendo assassinar algumas pessoas com salgadinhos embalados na fila da lojas Americanas... enfim... meu dia foi gostoso... e praticamente 80% ouvindo a mesma musica... Kid A, cantada pelo John... e não me dei ao luxo de entrar na net sem ao menos escrever isso para aquietar minha alma... e meu senso de produção... que está baixo, pois foi drenado ou está fora da área de cobertura... acho que devo tentar mais tarde... bjo

(foto minha, grapete numa tonalidade suficientemente misturada com agua para o rosa...)

kid Yves!

Well,
In some great feeling I’ll try to make some sense for the first time in my blog.. to start… I always had a music in my mind and I decided to modify it, so it can sound more close to my living and truth… “…I can finally fly…”
Some new kind of a feeling of a trustful-harmonic sensation, fulfilled with old scores and new thoughts for them… I’ll try to get back to what I always wanted to do… and try to breath some freedom.
“..is there a second time I looked around…” and then I saw things undone in my bedroom and I’ll make them done… strange that I’m writing tons of thoughts in such a disorder… maybe “…I wont wait to find, if this will last forever…worry about no rainy weather… I wont waste no time remembering about our lives together… always together”
Forget the past, live it as a lesson, live it so intense that you won’t feel it slip thru your fingers… be present at the lives of ones that love you, cause that’s what really matter…
Kisses mates! This is my cousin… Keila, love you!

imogen heap

As usual... “....spin me, round again, and rub my eyes....”
Music makes life poetical, makes life new, even if it seems old enough to stop living. Big part of my problems are given to Him, but the process of treatment is given by new music, new influence of new songs…
For the first time I try to lead my week without putting in practice what I most was adoring to do again, to write here… to be sincere I was composing a song… I suppose I saved some thoughts and neurons and shift it on a song that’s not ready… just like other six ones, but I promised to myself that I would finish it one day… even if it would be the last thing that I would do.
I assume that some of the things that I want are fooling me around…”hide and seek…” with my main life scores, I need to find them and give it a shot… give life a chance to let it be for real, not to be what we try to program… interesting is to think that our life could be programmable and make big things happen in the achievement, but no… if life was so easy to handle, people weren’t suffering in the streets. Try to program your life by doing what you have in front of you and let the rest in the Hands of The All-Mighty, and not searching things to do and forget your stuff… maybe you think that other people stuff’s are more interesting than yours, no way! When in your poor thought you would think that accomplishing your scores that life gave you isn’t interesting?
Don’t try to understand life… not even why sometimes it works wrong… but make every opportunity, the best you can have, and do your best. “…sweet insensitivity of this still life, hide and seek…you don’t care a bit…” (Music listened: Hide and Seek – Imogen Heap)
Kisses darlings…
(no pics 4 2day)

Smile...

Bom, pra começar, a maior diferença de hoje é minha excessiva vontade de escrever em português... ainda mais no ritmo que eu tava.... Nunca fui dos melhores caras pra tomar decisões, porém... de alguns anos para cá reparei que eu fui ficando mais intolerante, que algo dentro crescia... talvez fosse minha personalidade dosada com um pouco de impaciência pra certas cosas na vida. Sempre me deixei levar nas situações favoráveis ao meu êxtase mental até que eu perceba o contrário. Uma vez um cara disse pra mim “tenho certeza que eu vou te ver muitas vezes ainda” (situação englobada numa amizade ou numa pseudo-confiança no tato dele...) e adorando ser o elemento surpresa, fiz contradição no que ele achava que ia dar segmento, logo, nunca mais o vi e nunca mais quis saber de sua existência. Para ser sincero, acho desagradável quando alguém cria uma certa hiper-confiança em mim sem ao menos considerar que no meu olhar você não consegue distinguir 10% do que eu to mostrando... O pior é criar situações imaginárias e me incluir em fantasias cotidianas, como se eu realmente fosse me comportar conforme a pessoa previu... Chamaria de “elemento surpresa”
Acho repugnante quando alguém pensa conforme descrito, mas eu vejo gozo em mostrar que quanto mais as pessoas me conhecem, mais elas não sabem a meu respeito, e as situações que foram criadas por elas em relação a mim, acabam sendo vividas por elas mesmas ao invés de mim... enquadraria essa realidade numa que eu manipulei, ou que pudesse manipular... como já fiz centenas de vezes... Uma certa vez uma psicóloga disse que eu sou profundamente interessante... outra pessoa amada por mim uma vez mencionou que onde eu entrasse, com meu sorriso poderia persuadir quem fosse e da forma que eu falasse, fecharia com chave de ouro meus desejos... sorria você também, mas sem descriminar no olhar o que desejas, e sem mostrar o que sentes, a frieza unida à sutileza são bem quistas em situações delicadas.

bisous little pessoas!

chopping mountains...

Funny maybe the feeling that I have is corrupting my supposed-to-be-pride. I may confess I felt some weekness today while putting apart some things, I felt like… “what the shit im doing?” or “whattahell”, but I cant explain where the hell she had her cell phone stolen and we went to the police dept. to register a occurrence, and then a Sicillian man was so pissed there and then I told him “hard time hum?” and over the sudden he embraced all my moment tentions calling me a mother fucker, with a Manhattan accent, and then I felt like I was back home, in US. The most strange part of all is that I felt like I could mate the so happy childhood with a not-so-past relationship, while living in a strange American Brazil, but I felt real when she tenderly said…” I cant live like this anymore…” and I said “yeah, so, we wont, its over…”, and she had my heart in my hands when she almost cried… I felt so bad… but then I gave her a kiss and I tried to carry on… Things will be better in a way, I’ll miss her skin and lips, kiss and hips (needed to rhyme… ), when I came back to my dad’s place, I dropped by to the Italian’s guy and said a hello, in a way he helped to forget all the regret. I’ll try to listen more to some Hendrix and try to play them while I keep in touch with myself, keeping any kind of bad feelings in the guitar while I play her… actually, I’ll make a crazy thing on my sunburst guitar, I’ll paint her with some white flowers… make some new things… I need to try, otherwise I wont give a chance to myself… people, I love you all, even knowing that anyone reads this crap… kisses to all!

Cute dirt...

Maybe I missed the shape of a regular work day, where I come, talk to everyone, see what’s happening, and tell the one I once loved that everything’s alright, maybe my head wont need to plan anymore undoable things just to try to make life more exciting. The fact is that I still didn’t figure out a way out of this prison that I made, that I built the walls and painted black or dark colors with a simple illusion of a white-colored room with a big wooden window with a great view… Think about a Homelife… dream about a homelife, like I could listen my head telling me that, screaming, shouting, trying to fetch my attention caught in a John Mayer live song. But who is responsible for our destiny? We are. We are the ones that will take the necessary and unnecessary actions trying to be bright or to be clever while you save your own life. “…dreaming ‘bout making you my wife… dreaming ‘bout the homelife….you take your homelife…”
In fact I’m not a-okey, but I’ll do just fine, just keep walking (Johnny Walker, lol)… kisses!

(The picture maybe stands up for what i have to do, even if the time run thru my hands, i'll stand still as the captain of my life, making a smooth ride... strange how mickey did that... rs)

Bumbling with the Humble bee's

Well... i gotta tell you... it would be harder then i thought... I saw once a shiny piece of the sun inside your soul, a perfect space for some hope, a beautiful garden of love, and some peaceful space for my heart… but it rained, it snowed and the seasons made our heart grow different, weeds came out from the nowhere and maybe to feel you still-beating heart I needed to change and maybe cut some branches… Maybe the touch of your fingers in my rough skin would never be the same again… maybe the sun would not be so comfortable in the freezy winter of your madness or mortified by some suddenly-came-from-nowhere thoughts… Your flower that once had Purple petals, now are brown and dusty, trying to figure out what did the weather have to do with its change… but the weather didn’t change… you made the world change with the pollen you gave to the bees, that made a different honey, that the bear ate and roared different, and killed the hunter, and made the world a hostile place to be, and Gaia couldn’t do nothing for it… of course… life had found a new path to go… maybe The Gardener should change the pots or the water, or change the plants, or even the flowers… well… if I knew the future, living in the present wouldn’t be so terrific! (or not… lol)
Take care people, cause I’m trying to do the same, and my friends are doing the same for me… =)

Pensamento guardado a uma semana...

Well, dudes I gotta tell ya.. Remember when I mentioned once in this same blog about a dream that I had and I woke up and still felt in a dream? I need to give more emphasis on that feeling for this post, you know, I still sometimes wake up and still I'm stuck in this dream… but remember the girl? Well… she exists… and the most wicked thing that I can reveal is that I saw her, and in a few words and some tender kisses, I felt like I knew her since I was a harmless boy, "…lets tell the world we're in that crazy moon.." and so my head went on… since that day that I felt like in a dream, or film, or whatever it could be, but with the perfect feeling, I just knew that things should be changing for me… I guess that maybe I should tell her more times "…Lets get lost!" Things tried to change, and in the most special moments with her… I sang "Time after Time", a very charming Chet Baker song that almost made the moment sacred, and we imagined our lives in a few years, and wondered if we could continue this dream… well, I hope so…"you kept my love so young, so new…I'm so lucky to be loving you.". The most funny part of every thing, is that we have the same sensations and feelings, even if we're not close… She usually would say "it's because we have a connection, silly!" Well, I hope I don't wake up for this dream… I know that not everything's magic, but who said that everything need to be so serious? Just like a friend should say: "Why so serious?" The Main point is, let life be the way it should and try to feel all of the wonderful sensations and tick-tacky things that maybe hurt you, but would make you who you really need to be. (she taught me that too, but in another ways)

I knew that the day would be slow...

Who wants to know when the day has gone when you have someone you love by your side, and can maybe target all your missing goals to become true. But in the end of the day, the day will be old, and be dead when the night shows up, but the birth of a becomeing tomorrow will bring new wishes and new never-dreamed goals and never-had-scores.
So, what kept me up to write this?

Dream...

“Today I dreamed that true was paramont....”(Seal)

its something like this that happened to me… strange cause in the last days I wasn’t dreaming, but over the sudden, when I slept yesterday I was at my friends house, but she was living in my grandma’s old house and she called tons of friends and I got kind of shy and I spoke to each one of them, and then, over the sudden(again) I was at Scotland with some friends, when I ran away from a pub cause I was making fun, but then the owner thought that I was stealing something and then started to shoot at me… but I ran faster, me and my friends, and then I still was at Scotland but then the sun started to show up just as in Brazil, but not so hot, and then I was talking to this girl, she was smiling so pretty to me… her body seemed to be “calling” me to love her, but not in a sexual way, I cant explain damnit! But it was something magic… she hugged me, but we couldn’t stop smiling and talking very smooth, and then John Mayer’s music came from the nowhere, but then his music “Somethings Missing” came originally, but I started to modify the music and mentally change it to build a new one, and then I created a new one totally “fellingfull”, it had a new atmosphere, and then I was with the girl again, but her face changed a bit, and I was like the most complete man in the world, and then I woke up with the stupid alarm… but I shut it down and tried to go back to the dream, I only god more smiles… but in anyways… I was a strange, but perfect feeling, I just walked in the house and just felt like I was still in the dream… I don’t know, somethings gonna happen, but I’ll wait for it… maybe who knows a beautiful girl comes to my life and complete the missing part of me? Ahuuhauha
I’ll be here, just composing and doing what I gotta do…

(first pic, scotland, in the second pic, me doing a never-seen face and my lunatic friend)

Quinta na Quinta

(US)

When I was young once I asked myself if I could make time go back and maybe fix things I did wrong that made mom upset, or maybe to find my little hot wheels car toys that I lost somewhere... well, today I figured out how to maybe turn things against the clock, or maybe to feel as the same. We grow up to absorb knowledge and when old, share to the young ones that will take care of things we once did, but sometimes we forget that not everything is written or calculated, some of the most important decisions are based on an almost-impulsive-based act, the gift and the feeling for the unpredictable, in most times they come together. I couldn’t go to the parks that I once when in US, but I went to one here in Brazil, that made me feel like I was a little child again, I felt that I broke the space-time, that I could go back, of course I didn’t…. I made better, I reinvented some of the world-perception thoughts that I had in my mind and nature helped me to remember that we today live, but tomorrow die, just make your life better everyday… feel like the world is only ours… like babies feel their moms with the touch of the fingers… and time? Maybe we shouldn’t be too worried with it, we invented it, we could ignore it… share the best in you… (picture credits to David Yves, Daniel Eleven and Gabriel Durus – brothers of my band and almost family)

(BR)

Quando eu era pequeno eu me perguntei se eu poderia fazer o tempo voltar e talvez evitasse que tinha feito mamãe ficar nervosa comigo ou achar meus carrinhos da Hot Wheels que havia perdido e que alguns até hoje não achei... bom, tenho a sensação que posso ter achado uma forma de fazer com que os ponteiros do relógio girassem contrariamente ou sentir como. Nós crescemos para absorver conhecimento e quando velhos, repassar para os jovens que ficariam nos nossos lugares, mas as vezes esquecemos que nem tudo pode ser calculado, as decisões mais importantes são baseadas num ato quase-impulsivo, o dom e o “feeling” para o imprevisível, na maioria dos casos estes vêm juntos. Não pude ir aos parque que um dia me deram felicidade como os dos EUA, porém fui a um no Brasil que me fez relembrar e até parar o relógio da minha vida, como se eu tivesse rompido com o espaço-tempo, que havia uma possibilidade de reverter o tempo, claro que não consegui... fiz melhor, eu reinventei alguns pensamentos e percepções que tinha de mundo e tive ajuda da natureza, vi que hoje vivemos, amanhã morremos, apenas faça sua vida melhor... como se o mundo fosse só nosso... como os bebês que sentem a mãe pelo mais suave toque dos dedos... o tempo? Talvez nos não deveríamos nos preocupar com ele, afinal de contas nós o inventamos, podemos ignora-lo... divida o que há melhor em você... (créditos de fotografia para David Yves, Daniel Eleven e Gabriel Durus – brothers da banda e quase família)

Feelings Freedom

(US)
Freedom? Maybe the most valuable gift given by God and by those whom domain the politics in our countries...but what’s the meaning of freedom for you? To say things that you don’t even think about before speaking it? I’ll tell you what it is, its too feel the perfect vibe of a sunny day with no going back, to run in the sand like a freak just to get a bit tired but not giving a damn for who’s watching you or for what they’re going to say, its to try doing simple things that you never did and never quit before trying it again… Like the freemen in the past that battled for their honor and had the right to run in their horses and feel like they and the nature were one, the green fields after a dark forest, the green ocean kissing the beach after a path full of rocks, the dark night coming but nothing to fear, cause they could trust the nature and the brave ones that were with them and God that always made safe their paths.
Well, things had change, but our free will didn’t, think again before saying that maybe you honored the blood that came from the father of your father, and the fathers from the fathers.
Ride your imagination and set free your feelings…

(TOTAL CREDITS TO FABÍOLA TEIXEIRA -PHOTOGRAFER, in São Conrado Beach- RJ)

(BR)
Liberdade? Talvez um dos dons mais valiosos dados por Deus e por aqueles que regem a política de nossos países... mas qual seria o significado de liberdade pra você? Dizer coisas sem antes ter pensado? Te direi o que é, é como ter as melhores sensações de um dia ensolarado sem volta, é correr na areia feito um louco pra ficar um pouco mais cansado e não dar a mínima pra quem te olhar, sem se preocupar com o que pensarão ou falarão de você, é arriscar algo que você nunca fez e nunca parar após fazer novamente...
Como os homens livres no passado que batalhavam pela honra deles e andavam em seus cavalos e sentir a natureza como se fosse um só, as planícies verdejantes após uma floresta sombria, o verde oceano namorando a praia após um caminho cheio de pedras, a noite escura vindo porém não tendo o que temer pois confiavam nos bravos homens que ali permaneciam e em Deus que sempre manteve seguro o caminho deles.
Bom, as coisas mudaram, mas nosso livre arbítrio não, repense antes de dizer que talvez tenha honrado o sangue que veio do pai de seu pai, e dos pais dos pais.
Flutue na sua imaginação e deixe livres seus sentimentos...

(CRÉDITOS TOTAIS A FABÍOLA TEIXEIRA- FOTÓGRAFA, Praia de São Conrado, RJ)

Nice Saturday!

(BR)
No último sábado o Projeto Lip, no qual estou inserido, participou do Frequencia Jovem, toquei duas musicas animadas e divulgamos o trabalho, foi engraçado pois o técnico do som tentou sabotar a saída do violão, sorte dele que eu sigo A Quem sigo.... foi legal, pois as pessoas se interessaram e fiz alguns contatos. (1ªfoto: Eu e o Gabriel Durus-baixista, 2ª: Lary, Eu e Rougemont- fãs, 3ª: Mommy, 4ª e 5ª eu no showzinho, 6ª: eu e Pr. Jean- um big brother, 7ª: Fabíola-fotógrafa- e Jr. Negão-pentelho e best friend) *fotos provenientes de amigos, não linkados a FT


(US)

Last Saturday, the Lip Project, which i work, had its sapce in the event called "Frequencia Jovem", i played two musics and we spoke about our intentions, it was funny becasue the technician that was taking care of the sound almost made me punch him until nothing could remain, not fixing the output of my guitar, his luck that i follow WHO i follow... but it was nice! people asked about and i made some nice contacts. (1 pic: Me and Gabriel Durus-bass player, 2: Lary, Me & Rougemont- fans, 3: Mommy, 4 & 5 me at the show, 6: Me & Pr. Jean- one big brother, 7: Fabíola-photografer- & Jr. Negão-a pain in the balls and best friend) *pictures from friends, didnt come from FT.